Our story can be said in many ways. We could detail the series of events that brought us here; from our first, brief non-romantic encounters in 2018, to the auspicious moment we met again in Brooklyn just a few years later. We could show you the ordinary cross streets on a map where we decided to walk together, hand in hand, in the same direction (well, Lexi might not be able to point it out—she’s “directionally challenged”). And we could point to a date on the calendar, reciting the exact moment we felt that the best thing for us to do was to call it quits... Thank goodness we didn't.

Our story is simply about two people finding their way together. Through moments of joy, where communication is easy and coherent; through moments of difficulty, where we contradict ourselves as our language fails us (Kyle’s area of specialty). But can we demonstrate to you the imperceptible yet undeniable force that keeps us together, driving us to learn how to be in relationship? No—absolutely not. But we'll try our best, because this is where the truth of our story lives.

But no matter how we try to tell it, we find ourselves reaching for some invisible reason that explains an unnamable force, when, in reality, it is the invisible reason of this unnamable force that dictates our story to us. So, as we list the reasons behind our love for one another, we are simply trying to make sense of something inaccessible to language. It is precisely because we are in love that we have such lists filled with reasons why we love each other.

But are we so helpless to such determinisms, as they unfold us and unfold before us? However slim or illusory our freewill may be, we have something that resembles choice, which is contingent upon our self-awareness in relation to our knowledge of the world and the people in it. We choose to understand our relationship as a living exploration of meaning-making; a space where listening with careful attention, acceptance, and forgiveness are not simply principles, but critical elements of purpose in our practice of loving. But choice, as it stands, is empty without action, and action is blind without a knowing-how. This takes work, open minds, and a competent countering of animalistic ego.

Together, our hands build a sanctuary—a home where we’re safe to play without inhibition. Home is where we share the tiny details of our days simply for the sake of it, and the rewatch Law & Order. Home is where we allow each other to be our messy, imperfect selves (save for the fact that Kyle is actually a messy person (but he’s trying his best (regardless, Lexi still finds this to be irritating (but she's so cute when she's irritated, so why would Kyle want to be anything but messy‽ (Ugh!!!)))). *Kyle promptly regrets irritating his beloved and plans to encourage others—most especially his future self—to keep close the mantra: happy wife, happy life.*

And so we've arrived to the point of considering the difficulties of alterity: the merging of different worlds, comprising different sets of history, each of their own lineage of histories. When two people from vastly different lived experiences come together, something is bound to get scuffed, broken, or lost in the move. Are long term relationships not one of the most difficult feats of contemporaneous homo sapiens? As for us, we are incredibly lucky that a significant part of our trust was forged in this kind of collision; not by rupture, itself, but through the act of repairing rupture: sharing difficult emotional truths, for us, has arguably (no pun) been the most critical act for finding a shared depth on which our foundation rests. We do our best to hold these truths, handling them gently, accepting our humanity during our inevitable, messier moments.

Fortunately, other parts of our trust seem to come more easily: through keeping ourselves grounded in not only teamwork, but in play and companionship; not just in romance, but in the practical; not only when things feel easy, but when they're nothing less than difficult. Most importantly, we continue building on our mutual understanding of and our shared responsibility to each other—without criticism or stonewalling, and never with contempt, that fatal horseman. We know that there are no heroes nor villains in this relationship; we’re just two flawed people making a go of it, who will miss the mark, often. This has led us to cultivate a sense of freedom between us and within us. We hope to keep this.

We hope this gives you, at the very least, a sense of the spirit of our relationship. It is not perfect, but our shared life brims with laughter and joy—and we’re not keeping score. Everything we’ve shared with you above is the material—the lumber of life—we’ve used so far to build our house where we not only make each other feel safe, but at home in this oft alienating world. And this is precisely what we wish to extend to you, dear reader, as you are someone who has uniquely shaped us and the ways that we love. We hope to continue this, and to give something to you in return. Our lives will forever remain open to you, should you wish to meet us on an equal, human level. And so we thank you, from the bottom of our hearts! Now, please, celebrate with us!